looking back on my (comparatively short!) time in Japan, the first 2 years were a "honeymoon phase"... i was very much in love with Japan, my paycheck and the lifestyle that i could afford to live, but that honeymoon quickly started to fad away during the 3rd year when things at work started to annoy me more and more and certain aspects of japanese culture/work started to really ruffle my feathers. had my bf not asked me to move to Australia with him, i would have still recontracted for a 4th year. i would have very much been where you are now (in fact, i'm sure i'd be EXACTLY the same as you).... i couldn't see myself getting a job, making the money that i did then and maintaining my lifestyle if i moved back to America, so i would have just swallowed down the bad stuff to keep the good stuff.
....having said all that, i'm sorry i can't help you find whatever it is you need and feel you are missing. :( i really hope that it comes your way on its own (and that you recognize it when you see it! because that's hard too). hang in there and don't burn yourself out in the meantime. take a break from some of the optional (and really, if you're not being paid to do something it is optional!) things that you are doing that stress you out and take some time to just take care of yourself and fulfill your own needs. as much as you love doing all of the things you're doing, if you don't take care of yourself 1st and foremost you may find yourself in a bad situation later on....
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looking back on my (comparatively short!) time in Japan, the first 2 years were a "honeymoon phase"... i was very much in love with Japan, my paycheck and the lifestyle that i could afford to live, but that honeymoon quickly started to fad away during the 3rd year when things at work started to annoy me more and more and certain aspects of japanese culture/work started to really ruffle my feathers. had my bf not asked me to move to Australia with him, i would have still recontracted for a 4th year. i would have very much been where you are now (in fact, i'm sure i'd be EXACTLY the same as you).... i couldn't see myself getting a job, making the money that i did then and maintaining my lifestyle if i moved back to America, so i would have just swallowed down the bad stuff to keep the good stuff.
....having said all that, i'm sorry i can't help you find whatever it is you need and feel you are missing. :( i really hope that it comes your way on its own (and that you recognize it when you see it! because that's hard too). hang in there and don't burn yourself out in the meantime. take a break from some of the optional (and really, if you're not being paid to do something it is optional!) things that you are doing that stress you out and take some time to just take care of yourself and fulfill your own needs. as much as you love doing all of the things you're doing, if you don't take care of yourself 1st and foremost you may find yourself in a bad situation later on....
just my 2cents.