Thanks so much! I really appreciate your advice. I REALLY DO! Especially because you've been in a similar situation - at least in terms of whether you should leave Japan or not.
I'm very well aware of the fact that I have issues getting out of my safety zone. I'm currently trying to change little things step by step, later bigger changes. It's still better than doing nothing and maybe my anxiety will get less once I've done a few changes "without getting burned".
As for relationships, I don't think that it's because I'm afraid of being hurt or losing my freedom or anything. I think it's simply because I'm lazy. It's similar to getting yourself to workout. I don't do anything about it, so of course I don't meet anybody - unless some prince will suddenly appear in front of my apartment. That's also why I truly can say that I haven't met anyone that I've been attracted to in all those 6 years here in Japan. All my Japanese co-workers were female. The foreign guys all were married or had girlfriends and NONE of them was my type. Not even close. There was one guy I felt attracted right after I arrived in Japan, but he left 1 week after I arrived, so that's that.
I've met a few people while traveling and maybe you remember one of my recent travel stories where I met a diver my age who actually lives quite close to where I do. We met by coincidence 3 days in a row and while I didn't feel attracted to him, I do regret that I wasn't brave enough to ask for his contact. Maybe he has friends ... or maybe he could have become a good friend. But I didn't dare to ask. Hello, low self-esteem. I know that it's really a big problem and I can't really say that it has gotten better here in Japan. :(
As for the job: I don't expect to find my passion. I don't know what that could be anyways with over 30, so it won't happen. But I am afraid that I will end up working in jobs that I don't like doing, getting mentally and then physically sick. A 1-month internship managed to do that with me. I really hated that kind of job and after one month I was a wrack. Imagine what a job like that could do to me! :(
The problem is that I keep asking myself: I need to get out of Japan because .....??? And often I can't come up with reasons that are good enough. *sigh*
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I'm very well aware of the fact that I have issues getting out of my safety zone.
I'm currently trying to change little things step by step, later bigger changes. It's still better than doing nothing and maybe my anxiety will get less once I've done a few changes "without getting burned".
As for relationships, I don't think that it's because I'm afraid of being hurt or losing my freedom or anything.
I think it's simply because I'm lazy. It's similar to getting yourself to workout.
I don't do anything about it, so of course I don't meet anybody - unless some prince will suddenly appear in front of my apartment.
That's also why I truly can say that I haven't met anyone that I've been attracted to in all those 6 years here in Japan.
All my Japanese co-workers were female. The foreign guys all were married or had girlfriends and NONE of them was my type. Not even close.
There was one guy I felt attracted right after I arrived in Japan, but he left 1 week after I arrived, so that's that.
I've met a few people while traveling and maybe you remember one of my recent travel stories where I met a diver my age who actually lives quite close to where I do. We met by coincidence 3 days in a row and while I didn't feel attracted to him, I do regret that I wasn't brave enough to ask for his contact. Maybe he has friends ... or maybe he could have become a good friend.
But I didn't dare to ask. Hello, low self-esteem. I know that it's really a big problem and I can't really say that it has gotten better here in Japan. :(
As for the job: I don't expect to find my passion. I don't know what that could be anyways with over 30, so it won't happen. But I am afraid that I will end up working in jobs that I don't like doing, getting mentally and then physically sick. A 1-month internship managed to do that with me. I really hated that kind of job and after one month I was a wrack. Imagine what a job like that could do to me! :(
The problem is that I keep asking myself: I need to get out of Japan because .....???
And often I can't come up with reasons that are good enough. *sigh*
Thanks so much for listening / reading! :)